Rule 34 Video! Of all the unimpeachable truths of the Internet, perhaps the most profound is Rule 34: no matter what it is, there’s porn of it. Rule34Video.com is a warehouse of documentation that attempts to prove exactly that. I know your mom told you she’d cut off your wifi if she caught you looking at more of that kinky shit, but sometimes mom just doesn’t understand a man’s attraction to Mortal Kombat bitches, Minecraft whores, and futanari sluts who fuck horses.
Long story short, Rule 34 Video is a free tube specializing in unauthorized parody porn, CG fuckery, and some of the freakiest goddamn hentai you’ve ever seen. The domain was registered in 2018, though they’ve really taken off in the last year or so. They get over 4,000 visitors a day right now, but at this rate, their power level is soon going to be over 9,000. (In case you wannabe Saiyans were wondering, yes, they’ve got at least half a dozen Dragon Ball pornos in their stash. Kamehameha!)
Turning the Perversion Up to Eleven
Even if you’re illiterate or don’t speak English, it’s pretty clear Rule34Video ain’t your typical free porn tube. Hell, even if it’s your first time on the Internet and you’ve never heard of Rule 34, you’ll figure it out in a matter of seconds after hitting the landing page. They’ve got the same wall-of-smut layout as the rest of the tubes, but the thumbnails ain’t the typical smattering of teen lesbians, amateur cuckolds and airtight orgies.
I don’t see any of the full-motion videos you see on the other tubes, but that makes sense given the content here. I do see a ton of CG animations, a couple of Western-style porn cartoons and a fair amount of hentai. The drawn and computer-rendered styles are just more conducive to the kind of shit you’ll find on Rule34Video.
I mean, sure, you can dress a girl up like a Teen Titan and shoot a cosplay flick, and even hire a tranny to make it a futanari film. Shit gets more complicated when you add tentacles to the mix, because who has the time to train a space monster to rape a chick? I’m sure the #MeToo set would come running with their pitchforks and torches, too. Rule 34 Video has it in crisp 3D HD, and nobody’s getting arrested or canceled over it.
Likewise, it’s easy enough to film a pig nailing a chick doggystyle, provided you can find a willing babe and a willing hog. That shit’s illegal in most places, though, and the videos never end with the girl getting knocked up with a pig-human hybrid baby. Well, perverts, let me tell you about a cartoon somebody uploaded to Rule34Video.com just a couple of days ago…
You get my point, right? This site is fucking full of the kind of top-tier perversion banned on the major tubes. You ain’t going to find any furry porn on the ol’ Pornhub. The heavy focus on true Rule 34 Videos ensures you’re going to get more X-rated parodies, futanari and incestuous Danny Phantom movies than the vanilla tubes.
Futanari Furries and Other Delights
By default, the front page of Rule 34 Video shows you all the latest videos. There’s a slider that lets you switch from the site’s collection of Videos to their stash of GIFs, though there’s really not much in the GIFs area. You can beat off to about a dozen small GIF galleries, or just dig into the real meat of the site, around 5,000 explicit cartoons, CG animations and hentai
It goes without saying given the site’s age and that collection size, but Rule34Video.com is updated all the goddamn time with fresh, dirty movies. Today alone, users have added a Mortal Kombat threesome with dick-girls, a witch with big tits and a huge dick fucking a woman’s face, a Skyrim monster rape, and a horse futanari double-dick rough-sex crossover between Batman and World of Warcraft.
I make it sound like it’s all futa material, but I think I’m just browsing the site on a real dick-loving day. There’s plenty of perfectly normal straight porn, like the young lady getting fingercuffed by a horse on each end, or the facehugger scene that deviates from the Alien canon by having the second-stage Xenomorph hugging this woman’s snatch instead of her lovely mug.
Okay, okay, it’s not all monster sex and furry porn on Rule34Video, either. In fact, if I had to nail down their categories, it’s pretty clear what the site really specializes in is depraved parodies of your favorite characters. The Top Categories sidebar on the front page has a No Specific Category entry with a few hundred vids, but the rest of the Categories are cartoons, video games and movies that you beat off to even before they got sexed up in a Rule 34 Video.
Tomb Raider is wildly popular with the neckbeard wankers around here, with a cool 140 flicks in the archive. They’ve got more than 50 parodies based on Metal Gear Solid, and 32 with the Incredibles. If I had known about this site, maybe I wouldn’t have gotten arrested when Incredibles 2 opened in my town a couple of years ago. Ben 10, The Last of Us, and The Legend of Queen Opala are all covered. Fucking Minecraft is here! Not even Disney is spared, with a good handful of Frozen pornos.
A Treasure Trove of Rule 34 Porno
The format at Rule34Video.com is almost exactly what you expect from any free tube, though their video player is a little unusual. Instead of clicking through to individual video pages, the site has a video interface that pops up on top of the browsing page. It’s got all the features and info you expect, but it just feels a little strange when you’re so used to the standard format. It’s not a big deal at all, and it’s one of my least favorite thing about the site. That should tell you something about the overall quality.
The video player itself is fine and fully functional. There’s no Download button, which ain’t too surprising nowadays, but you can click the gear icon to choose your video resolution. A button near the top will hook you up with an embed code if you want to share with the fam, but I tend to just hit the full-screen button every time.
I watched a short video added today called Succubus Tail Tickle Punishment. The movie started playing without any wait for buffering, and kept up just fine when I maxed out the quality at 720 HD. Shackled between a couple of flaming pillars with an imposing tickle machine behind her, the big-titted, big-horned bimbo convulses and giggles uncontrollably, her legs quivering with forced orgasmic delight.
The videos are organized really fucking well. Not only are they tagged with all the relevant info and sexual subgenres, making searches easy, but the artists are also listed and ranked on the site. They’ve got some of the best CG and hentai artists, and a full list of creators spanning nearly 10 pages so far.
The whole concept of a Rule 34 Video site seems like it would be pretty straightforward. Just upload some freaky-ass Black Canary CG blowjobs and Cyberpunk 2077 deepthroat cumshots and you’re golden, right? Most sites can’t seem to pull it off as well as these guys, though. Not only is their selection fucking killer, but they don’t blow you up with spam like some of the hentai and porn cartoon tubes out there. With my ad-blocking plugin running, I didn’t have any issues with boner-pill pop-ups or animated hentai game banners.
Rule 34 states that if it exists, there is a video of it. Rule34Video.com proves that rule over and over again—around 5,000 times so far and counting. More freaky-ass CG videos have appeared on the site since I started this review, so there’s no end in sight. They’ve got kinkier animated parodies than you’ll find on most sites, plus the furry stuff most of the other guys ban from their services. If you’re a depraved animation fan, or just can’t stop beating off to Nickelodeon, check out what these perverts are offering.